Love & Mud

The first time you fall in love it happens so effortlessly, with or without your consent. We’re not really questioning the progress, no hesitations. It just happens.

You didn’t ask for the hole to be there. You didn’t see it from afar. But you made it to the edge and fell in. Delusional; it feels like you’re flying through the stars but you’re stuck six feet under. The mud making it hard to even lift one foot. Mud baths are trips to the moon. Mud fights have you sliding from silver lining to silver lining. And then something happens.

Maybe the love drug wears off over time and now you see clearly that you’re not above the stars, you’re stuck in a ditch of mud. Trapped. Walls six feet tall surround you. Maybe your partner is still making the best of the situation, still playing in the dirt like a happy puppy. Or maybe you realize they aren’t in the same hole as you anymore. At some point they escaped, and now you’re looking around at the shit colored walls lonely, scared, and angry. Your heavy heart sinks you further. 

If you’re smart, you’ll figure a way out: FAST. I created rain with my tears, molded a ladder and kept myself from crying long enough to dry the shape in place. I climbed out as soon as it was ready and breathed life above the dirt cave for the first time in 4 years. I don’t think I’m delusional anymore. This is reality, right? Trees, and birds, and sunshine. That drug brings you to a different galaxy.

Since then, I’ve side stepped a few holes. Sometimes peeking to the bottom with no interest in their mud games. Doesn’t look like much fun from up here. Not with you, anyway.

But one day, one man caught my eye. He’s making good use of his mud; sculpting his ladder even higher than mine, and I’m intrigued. 

“What are you doing?” I asked.

And as soon as the words left my mouth, I knew.  I walked over and silently began to work by his side. At first he didn’t understand. He planned to take on the task alone and invite his love up when it was complete. 

“We can finish it sooner working together” I explained. 

He smiled and he kissed me. We’re going to make it to the stars, and it’ll be real.


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